Keith Hamilton, left, during his ill-fated voyage on the cruise ship simulator

TO be frank, parallel parking has never been my strength when it comes to driving - it's bad enough with my family car so when I tried my hand at berthing a 100,000-tonne cruise ship in Southampton Docks it was decidedly dodgy. It has always been a burning ambition of mine to stand on the bridge of one of the new super- ships that have now made Southampton their home and bring it into port, and this was finally my chance.

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/shipping/11690171.Cruise_ship_captain_for_a_day/