Canadian cruise ship passenger missing after jumping off Royal Caribbean vessel

Thick and tired of being mistaken for The Michelin Man's hairier, heavier brother, my ambitious New Year's resolution for 2014 is purposely geared to spend much less time around those irresistible, but oh-so evil gals Laura Secord, Wendy, Sara Lee, Poutine Patty and Aunt Jemima.

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Canadian+cruise+ship+passenger+missing+after+jumping+Royal/9332837/story.html